Saturday Update

I committed earlier this week to check back in and start using my blog more frequently again.  When I first created this space it was intended to be an online journal.  I am terrible at writing in a journal, plus after 20+ years of heavy computer and cash register usage, I am well on my way to severe carpal tunnel.  My hand sometimes spasms and gets stuck in a semi-claw when I write too much with pen or pencil.  So this was my solution.

Overall it has been a great week.  Not a perfect week but an good one.  No significant triggers or struggles.  Still haven't been as great at my dailies as I would like but I made serious progress this week.  My goal every morning is to read something from the Scriptures or General Conference and find something uplifting or powerful in what I study to share with my support list.  This sometimes leads to my dailies going on much longer than I intended because I haven't run across the right message to share with others to both inspire them and help me move forward and have a great day. 

The only negative this week was that I got a cold Thursday evening and missed my 12 Step meeting.  The weather turned cold almost overnight here and I stupidly spent 2 hours out in the elements just wearing a light fleece vest while working on my car .  Even though it was a bad experience, it actually became something of a learning metaphor for me. 

When I don't do my dailies and connect with others and get outside myself, I don't build up my armor.  So I end up out in the elements unprepared and freezing cold.  This leads to me getting sick and eventually slipping.  That is exactly what happened to me on Thursday.  I didn't make good decisions and I ended up suffering as a result.  Fortunately a cold can be overcome with a good night's sleep and some basic meds.  Poor decisions that lead me towards addiction are harder to overcome. 

It amazes me how often I see the 12 Steps and recovery in my daily life when I am paying attention.  It truly is a program not just to overcome addiction but just to become a better person and come closer to my Father in Heaven.

I am looking forward to a wonderful Thanksgiving week.  To kick things off I just want to say that I am extremely grateful for my Father in Heaven, my Savior and his Atonement that helps me overcome my weaknesses.  For my family, both extended and immediate and for the many blessings I have received.  I have a good friend in recovery who carries a gratitude list in his pocket at all times because he feels that when he is focused on the many things in his life that he has to be thankful for, he doesn't focus on his addiction.  What a wonderful example. 

I am also grateful for all of you.  Blogging has been a great way to help me feel connected and part of a group instead of stuck in isolation. 

Thanks for listening

~~~ Tim