Choosing to Build and Nurture Faith

Things have been a bit of an adventure lately. It seems like every year around the holidays, things tend to get stressful and crazy. Inevitably, something goes wrong with our car. We struggle to manage the budget to try to provide a nice Christmas for our own family while also trying to find a way to donate and help out those less fortunate. Its a wonderful time of year, but also a busy, stressful and sometimes very trigger filled time.

The last few weeks have been pretty up and down for me. I have been really great at times, but also vulnerable and needy at times. Given the nature of the financial stress created by my last major relapse, I have really wanted to try to make Christmas wonderful for my family to help make up for the struggles of the last year. Focusing time and energy on this has definitely affected my recovery efforts at times.

Sunday morning I ran across a talk in my dailies that really gave me some perspective so I wanted to share some thoughts here.

The talk is titled; Faith---the Choice is Yours, by Richard C. Edgley. He talks at length about the power of faith, and how it can move mountains, both physical, emotional and spiritual. Early on in his message, he shared something that really hit me;

Because of the conflicts and challenges we face in today’s world, I wish to suggest a single choice—a choice of peace and protection and a choice that is appropriate for all. That choice is faith.

I absolutely love that he teaches that faith is a choice! It is so easy at times to think, "Oh man, if only I had faith as the Brother of Jared..." But the thing is, faith is something we choose, feed, nurture and help to grow. It is something we have to choose.

He explains this concept in greater detail;

The Savior said, “Come unto me” (Matthew 11:28) and “Knock, and it shall be [given] you” (Matthew 7:7). These are action verbs—come, knock. They are choices. So I say, choose faith. Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism.

I think it is so important to remind ourselves, and for me, myself that faith is a choice. It does take action, it takes work. As an addict, it is easy to fall into "Why me?" mode. If only I had more.... sobriety, hope, faith, support, money, success, love etc. It can be a deadly cycle. Focusing constantly on what I don't have, what I am lacking. It is easy to forget that the way out is not a miraculous change, but rather begins with a simple choice. The choice to have faith, and to act upon that faith through study, prayer, and action.

I once saw a quote that said;

Even when opportunity comes knocking, you still have to get up and answer the door.

Such is the nature of faith. The opportunities to come closer to the Savior are there. I just have to get off my butt and take advantage of them.

Towards the end of his message, Brother Edgley shares a testimony that I found particularly important for those of us who struggle with addiction, depression and despair;

I have never witnessed the removal of an actual mountain. But because of faith I have seen a mountain of doubt and despair removed and replaced with hope and optimism. Because of faith I have personally witnessed a mountain of sin replaced with repentance and forgiveness. And because of faith I have personally witnessed a mountain of pain replaced with peace, hope, and gratitude. Yes, I have seen mountains removed.

I don't have all the answers and I don't know tomorrow brings, but today I am going to do my best to recognize and understand that my faith is a choice.

Thanks for listening.

~~~ Tim