Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Never In This House.

So I had the amazing opportunity tonight to listen to the Step 5 of a brother in recovery.  It reminded me of my own Step 5 experience and allowed me to bear testimony of things that have worked for me in my own recovery as well as discuss potential pitfalls that can occur and have occurred in my life.  I was honored to be a part of it.  Even though it was his Step 5 I felt like I learned so much from him, saw so much of myself in him.  It made me feel connected.  Which reminded me of one of my favorite blog posts of all time when I wrote about the power of connection in recovery.  It was a reminder that I sorely needed as our move 3 months ago has put me hours away from most of the men who have been my support system throughout my recovery.  I still reach out, but I could definitely do more.

But towards the end of it there was another really awesome moment.  I was describing the ruts I used to get in a few years back.  When I would set myself up for failure time and time again.  It was almost always the same time of day, same location and same circumstances.  And as I pictured it a thought popped into my head.  I have never acted out in our new home.  Granted we have only lived here a little over 3 months but after nearly 30 years of struggles there are not too many places I have lived that I haven't acted out.  In fact I would probably have to go back to my mission to find a place that I lived for an extended amount of time that I didn't act out.  It was a tender mercy from the Lord that this remains a safe place.  Where there are no tainted memories of past misdeeds.  Where simply walking into a room will not bring back a trigger or shameful memory of the past.  It made my entire night.


No comments:

Post a Comment