Monday, March 10, 2014

The Blessings of Sponsorship

It feels like it has been forever since I have written anything. I suppose it is time to get back on the horse as the saying goes. I have had a lot of ideas bouncing around my brain lately but the one that has really stood out is the blessings that come from sponsorship. I believe this to be a 2 way blessing. Obviously there is great support and much to be gained from having a sponsor, but as I am learning, there are just as many blessings to be found from being a sponsor!

I have been in recovery for over 4 years and during that period of time I have had guys talk to me about supporting them on numerous occasions. This led to me forming many great contacts and as I have written about in the past, has become a huge part of my recovery. But during that time I had never served as some one's formal sponsor to help guide them through the steps.... Until recently. A lot of it stemmed from self doubt. I was happy to take a call, send a text or share a quote or scripture, but I certainly wasn't knowledgeable or spiritual enough to actually guide someone through the steps and call them out when they were straying off track... Was I?

Every week when they would ask in my weekly meeting for those willing to sponsor to raise their hands, I would decline. I had plenty of excuses at the ready; "I'm not new to recovery but I'm new to this group.", "I've never been a sponsor before so who would want to be my first?", "My life and marriage are still far from perfect, I'm certainly not the one to give someone else advice.".

Well after talking to a couple friends in recovery who have sponsored, as well as my wife who has sponsored numerous sisters, I decided I would raise my hand when asked, assuming of course that no one ever would. The Lord had other ideas. The very first week that I raised my hand as being willing to sponsor, two different brothers came over after the meeting and asked if I would sponsor them. I was humbled and more than a little bit shocked, but I agreed. We exchanged numbers, I explained my sometimes difficult work schedule and we were off.

Then something magical happened. I suddenly found myself diving into the early steps trying to remember what had worked for me so that I could try to pass it along to these brothers on their journey. I spent time meditating and pondering over my own recovery. I prayed for these good men. My dailies were suddenly amazing. I took calls, sent texts and spent big chunks of my day talking about recovery and researching assignments and thoughts to share. It filled me with a wonderful spirit.

That's not to say it is all roses. Sponsorship, both sides of it, takes time and commitment. It means being willing to make time in your day for regular check-ins, to pause that game you are playing with your wife and take a call or take an unscheduled break at work to try to find a quote or scripture that might provide some guidance or hope. But through it all I could feel the Spirit prompting my words and efforts and I felt so strengthened in my own recovery efforts.

It also filled me with gratitude for the great men who have sponsored and supported me over the years and the time they had surely put in to be a resource and and help to me when I was at my lowest. Above all, it strengthened my testimony that 12-Step does work. The Lord is always at the helm but he needs all of us to see his plan through. It becomes a never-ending circle of hope. We get love and support in our early days and then when we have a little strength we share it with someone else.

Sponsorship is such an integral part of any 12-Step program. It is an amazing blessing to both serve as a sponsor and to have a sponsor guiding our recovery efforts. The SA White Book explains the importance of forming these relationships;

For most of us, without associating in some way with other recovering individuals there is no lasting sobriety and none of the fringe benefits of recovery, growth, freedom, and joy...

There are many tools to recovery but probably none more important then forming connection with others who have walked that path or are currently walking it. The Lord is in charge but he needs us to do our part as beautifully put in the Hymn, Brightly Beams Our Father's Mercy,

Brightly beams our Father's mercy. From his lighthouse evermore, But to us he gives the keeping of the lights along the shore.

We can all be lower lights for one another and when we do we all get stronger together!

Thanks for reading!

~~~ Tim