Journal: Just Breathe

It has been a very full couple weeks.  I graduated from College today with my Bachelor's degree.  It was a wonderful experience that was a long time coming, and even though I walked, I am still finishing up one final project.  I was just close enough that they let me participate in graduation.  I will hopefully be done in a couple weeks for good.  The stress of finishing and trying to get everything done in time has definitely had an impact on my recovery.  I am still doing dailies but they are not as long or dedicated as I would like them to be.  I have felt lately like I am constantly tired and lacking sleep.  On top of everything else we have been dealing with some significant financial challenges.

That said, there has still been much to be grateful for.  I have continued to reach out to my support network and gotten encouragement and support from them.  It is so nice during a down day to get a text from someone just saying "hey, I was thinking about you, I hope you are doing well."  Those texts mean so much to me and never fail to lift me up.  I have come to the belief that support is a karmic event.  The more willing I am to reach out when I am doing well and feeling strong, the more likely I am to be missed and get messages of strength and support when I am struggling, stressed or overwhelmed.  If I pay it forward by lifting others, the Lord will always see to it that I get the lift I need as well.

I have also become increasingly grateful for music.  Some months ago I took the 30 day challenge from K-Love, a Christian radio station.  They challenge you to listen to nothing else for 30 days and see if it has an impact on your life.  Well I have been listening to them almost exclusively for almost 90 days now and I am constantly finding myself signing along to the songs and feeling the Spirit no matter what I am doing.  My 13 year old son has also started commenting on his favorite songs and artists.  It has become a great calming and peaceful part of my day to get in the car and hear songs that testify of the Savior at all times. 

Today was particularly difficult.  I woke  up feeling almost as if I hadn't slept at all and really drug my feet getting to work.  I sat at my desk for a few minutes staring into space and finally mustered the courage to get some work done.  Rather than dragging my heels I decided to tackle a tedious project that I have been putting off for quite some time.  I queued up a conference talk on my phone and went to work.  It was slow going at first as I slowly coaxed my brain into action but I found that as I committed myself to working hard and listened to Elder Nelson speak about missionary work, I was able to be productive and get my day off to a good start.  It was hard, but as I put forth the effort and did my best to put myself into a good place, the Lord stepped in and did the rest.  I had a good day at work, was able to celebrate my graduation with my family and now head to bed exhausted but fulfilled.

Bad days will happen, stress will come, life just happens sometimes, but when I exercise my faith and do what I need to do, the blessings and support will also come.  Today was a wonderful reminder of the Lord's hand in my life and I am very grateful for Him.

~~~ Tim