Practicing Patience

One of my biggest struggles in recovery and in life is learning to be patient and trust the Lord's timeline. I was texting a good recovery friend yesterday and he asked how I was doing. I was tempted to just reply that things were good. Because really, things have been good. But in my heart of hearts I knew that wasn't the whole truth. So I expressed my struggles with patience. It is very easy to fall into the trap of "Why can't things just happen faster?"

Why can't my relationship with my Savior be made strong and true TODAY?
Why can't I be on the other side of withdrawal symptoms and daily triggers TODAY?
Why can't my marriage be secure TODAY?
Why can't my wife want to hold my hand again TODAY?
Why can't I stop worrying that others will define me by my past actions TODAY?

It is so easy to get sucked into this cycle. Along with it comes fear, uncertainty and a loss of serenity and hope. While all these thoughts were going through my head yesterday I came across a meme online that talked about trusting the Lord's timing. This kind of snapped me out of my funk and helped me focus on gratitude. One of my sponsors has taught me the wonderful lesson of always expressing gratitude for what is good in my life before I talk about my fears and resentments. The lesson is a simple one. If I focus on gratitude FIRST, the resentments and fears lose much of their power over me. If I look at the list above I can easily turn most of those around by choosing gratitude.

My relationship with my Savior CAN be made strong today if I am willing to do my part.
I can be in a better place in regards to my triggers and withdrawal symptoms if I work my recovery and talk honestly about my struggles and surrender them to God.
My marriage is much better today than it was 3 months ago and progress is consistent and ongoing.
I can't control if my wife will ever want to hold my hand, but if it is the Lord's will He will see it through.
I can't control how others define me but I can focus on my own self worth and divine nature as the son of a loving God.

While pondering this subject and doing some personal study I came across a wonderful quote from Elder Neal A. Maxwell;

"The issue for us is trusting God enough to also trust His timing. If we can truly believe He has our welfare at heart, may we not let His plans unfold as He thinks best?"

Patience is hard. Watching and waiting is hard. But the fact is that so much good has happened in my life these last few months that there is no way I could possibly deny the Lord's hand in my life. And if I recognize His hand in my life I also have to trust His timing. Things will happen according to His timeline and not my own. I obviously still have things I need to learn and growing I need to do before this trial will be behind me.

Patience is a process. I am not always good at it. But I know that when I focus on gratitude and choose to see good in my circumstances, in those around me and in myself. I can't possibly expect others to focus on the good in me if I am not willing to see it myself.

God is good and with His help I CAN do this. One day at a time!