Isolation

I've been struggling a lot lately with isolation. It feels like life has increased speeds exponentially and I am constantly coming or going. Due to some financial problems that occurred during my last relapse period I am working 7 days a week many weeks. The last 3 months I have only had 1 day off each month. On top of that it seems like either my wife or I has had an evening obligation almost every single evening. When your days start at 4AM, fighting to get the kids to bed at 9PM can be an arduous task. One of my favorite Christian songs is Worn by Tenth Avenue North.  There is a line in the lyrics that says; "I know I need to lift my eyes up.   But I'm too weak.   Life just won’t let up."

That is very much how my days have felt lately.  The ironic part is that in the very next part of the song it actually gives the answer to feeling this way in life; "And I know that you can give me rest.   So I cry out with all that I have left."  I know that the answer to isolation is to cry out, to my Savior and to my support system.  While at my PASG group the other night I read a quote in the Introduction of the LDS ARP manual that I really believe to be true regarding isolation and overcoming addiction; "By being humble and honest and calling upon God and others for help, you can overcome your addictions through the Atonement of Jesus Christ."  

I bolded the portion that jumped out at me when I read it.  To overcome isolation and have success with any type of addiction, I need to turn to my Savior and I need to be willing to use my support system and ask others for help.  It wasn't that long ago that I blogged about what a strength my support system can be when I am using them and letting them share my journey with me. I was also reminded the other day during a Sunday School class that it is often the little things in life that are missing.  

This reminded me of one of my all-time favorite scriptures in Alma 37:6-7;  6 Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.

7 And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.

 This was a great comfort and reminder to me that the things I need to do to break out of this isolation cycle are not big things.  Rather, what I need to do is focus more on the little things.  I figured being honest about my struggles in a public fashion here and letting others in was a good place to start! 

~~~~ Tim