The LDS Addiction Recovery Program - I have attended meetings for a little over three years now. I have made some wonderful friends and had some good experiences but nothing like what happened last night. I was overwhelmed at the outpouring of love, strength and support from the brothers in that room after my sharing. There were men that I barely knew that made it a point to come over and put their arms around my shoulders and let me know that they understood, that they had been where I am. It was truly a brotherhood. I really started to see what I had been missing out on all these months and years. The meetings are wonderful, but its the people that make the difference. Letting them in, letting them love me.
My Bishop - I don't know how he does it. Managing to both support and be a shoulder to cry on for my wife while still going out of his way to make sure I know that I am loved. After our meeting the other night he was stern at times, but always there was the love, the support, the testimony that there is a way back if I am willing to do what is necessary. Then on top of everything else there have been the texts, of support, of suggested reading materials and counsel. But the main thing that stuck with me from our visit was as I was getting ready to leave his office, an emotional mess. He hugged me and told me that I didn't realize how many people there were who loved me. Who were thinking of me, supporting me, praying for me.
My Mom - We had an amazing talk last night. She was concerned, bewildered, saddened, but most of all, she was THERE. When I needed her most. It is comforting to know that even approaching 40, with three children of my own, my mom is still always there when I need her. She is a wonderful example to me of the unconditional love of a parent.
My Family - It was an emotional day today. My wife and I are separated but I went over this afternoon to be home with the boys until my wife got off work. I got to spend a few hours with them before I had to leave again. My oldest boy has such a tender soul. He is old enough and perceptive enough that he knows something is wrong, that things aren't the way they should be. He gave me a lot of hugs, cried with me and told me numerous times that he loves me. It was heart wrenching to leave them, but his tender show of love and support made it so much easier. Before I left I was able to give all my boys big hugs and tell them that I loved them. It really made me realize how much I take my family for granted. My beautiful boys and my sweet wife who has always been such an amazing example to me. I will always be grateful that Heavenly Father allowed me to be part of their lives.
My Savior - My favorite scripture has always been John 14:18 - I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to thee. It is the Savior speaking to his apostles before leaving the earth for the Ascension. He is helping them, and me, to understand that he is still with us. That he is ALWAYS with us. He endured all manner of illness, disease, pestilence, and sin so that he is infinitely capable to comfort, console and lighten my burdens. One of my favorite LDS songs is You're Not Alone, by Michael McLean. I embedded the video below. This song has always brought me comfort and hope. It helps remind me that I am not alone. My Savior is always with me. No matter how big a mess I make of my life, I am never alone and truly I have much to be grateful for.
Lost
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